My Life, As Viewed From The Sea

My life, as viewed from the sea, is really great.

My life, as viewed from not-the-sea, really stinks.

You know why?

No, of course not, I haven't told you yet. :)

See, there are multiple great and not-so-great problems in my life.

First, I am not a jellyfish. This is a problem because jellyfish are so much cooler than humans. I mean, they float around in the water and don't have a care in the world, and sometimes they are even venomous. That's the kind of jellyfish I would love to be, the venomous kind. I would probably be a Portuguese Man-O-War, actually, because to quote the South Carolina Department of Natural Resources web site, they are blue or purple and their tentacles can be 30 to 60 FEET long. They can inflict extremely painful stings, the symptoms of which include: shooting pain, intense joint and muscle pain, headaches, shock, collapse, faintness, hysteria, chills, fever, nausea, and vomiting. Sounds like a powerful jellyfish to me. Even in death, contact with the Portuguese Man-O-War can be extremely painful.

Second, my dear, dear Billy Bob Joe XII doesn't love me. I can't even technically call him by his first name because he was my teacher. He has a girlfriend who is apparently perfect for him (I can tell by her blog posts and his blog posts of their trip to Rome.) Also, he is currently still in Rome. On my birthday they are arriving in Scotland to visit her grandparents... to me this sounds like a very serious relationship if they are visiting her grandparents together! I could be wrong. However I am surprised that since he is joining the Marines in March, they are not at least engaged yet. I mean, he'll be gone for four years, by the time he returns he'll be 30 or 31 and she won't be much younger, either, while I am only going to be 23. Sad, no? I mean, if he isn't interested in me now, he definitely won't be in four years. Seriously, what 30-year-old is interested in a 23-year-old???

Third, I am a horrible person. I told you about Text-Man. Well the problem is, I feel like I am using him. I am using him to try to keep my mind off of Billy Bob. I am using him to feel loved and wanted. I am using him to try to get over Billy Bob (it seems impossible but I AM trying... a little). I am using him so that maybe I can tell Billy Bob I have a boyfriend. (Text-Man is not my boyfriend yet. However if we keep going at this rate it might not take very long.) I am using him to make Billy Bob envious. And for all of that, I don't even like him. I told you, I'm a horrible person.

So, this is why my life is great:

1) I am at the beach. I guess I needed therapy badly because this is what it feels like...I feel better almost daily (despite complications in my "love life"). It must be the sun and the warmth and the waves and the seashells and the wind washing out four years' worth of high school problems and worries and anxiety. Billy Bob told me he almost never saw me relax - well I wish he could see me now (apart from the obvious reasons) because I have never felt more relaxed and at peace with myself.

2) I have friends. There's Medusa, obviously, who's been there for me for the last two years through literally every shitty situation - think of a bad one, and we've worked through it, trust me. And let's see, there are some others who are not quite such awesome friends but have made me laugh, which is always a gift.

3) I own the movie "Chocolat" which has JOHNNY DEPP in it and of course, a lot of chocolate images. Johnny Depp, in my mind, is one of the few men who rate higher in overall attractiveness than Billy Bob. And needless to say Chocolate is AMAZING and should be included in movies whereever possible.

This is my favorite picture of him. And I will take him with the bandana and the tattoo and the necklace and everything. I mean, JUST LOOK AT THOSE EYES. They are to die for. (Billy Bob's eyes are like that.)

So now it is getting late and I have been rambling on for quite some time. I'm sure the post got a lot longer than I meant it to.

Ciao!

--Dido