Medusa would just like to say that The Loser is the most amazing guy ever...

...And that she kind of doesn't want to go to college yet because she doesn't want to let him go. Apparently there's this whole amazing, sweet, romantic side of him I had NO IDEA existed. And so I like him kind of a lot more than I'd anticipated. But honestly, if you were sent texts like...

"I think I just might like you more than I thought I did yesterday. :) I feel amazingly good at the moment. :) I kinda wish I could always feel like this. :)"

"I kind of like you. :) And I like saying that. Sorry if I sound sappy or repetitive. :P"

"I mean it. :) I think you're beautiful. :)"

...you'd probably feel the same. Anyway, ta for now. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up.

--Medusa

It's interesting how getting what you want can make life REALLY COMPLICATED.

Apparently, The Loser likes me back. Two simultaneous reactions here: 1) "YAYYYYYY! I LOVE LIFE!" 2) "CRAP! He just broke up with Girl Scout last week! And I leave for BYU in a month! And my parents would NOT be okay with this because of the age gap! ...NOW WHAT?"

And neither he nor I know the answer.

--Medusa

Oh and also, I wanted to share something hilarious Dido sent me the other day:

"Well I was just minding my own business in waist deep ocean water. All of a sudden I heard this loud wave behind me & when I turned around there was a 10 foot wave right on top of me and it crashed down and I went under and got turned over about 3 times and swallowed a bunch of water and it all got in my eyes and nose & I thought I would never get back up bc I had no idea where I was. And I thought I was gonna die. My last thoughts would not have been about my life or friends or family. No. They would have been: "Damn. I haven't heard all of Lady Gaga's songs yet. Well this sucks."

"Creative Blog Title Goes Here"

A conversation between Medusa and myself on my birthday.
This should be self-explanatory:

Me: My cake had 19 candles on it and the flames were somehow different colors. When I blew them out I wished with all my heart and soul "Billy Bob." That is all.

Medusa: Bahaha I did the same thing on my birthday... with the Loser...

Me: You know. I am starting to think we are the losers here :)

Medusa: I feel like you're right. Hahaha

Medusa: ...in the process of cleaning my room I found a small glass figurine of what appears to be the virgin mary. I have no idea where it came from or what it was doing under my bed. WTF. haha

(later...)

Me: That is so weird. Haha. Wow. I found some interesting t h ings in my closet which I threw away imediately. Yay packing! XD

Medusa: Haha I guess. I'm currently in the middle of one of those ridiculous emotional breakdowns over everything and nothing.

Me: Oh. Not good. Why? And eat some chocolate? Feel better... :(

Medusa: I don't even know. hahaha. General worries about EVERYTHING. Probably because I'm pmsing. When I wake up tomorrow I'll be fine. blahhhh. haha

Me: Aggh I hate being a girl! And I hate the universe for being a man bitch. Poor you. :( Seriously, men are so much better off.

Medusa: It's true. gah. I vote we kill them ALL. haha

Me: Yes except Johnny Depp. :)

Medusa: Yeah... and Taylor Lautner. And Brad Pitt. I just watched Mr. And Mrs. Smith. hahaha

Me: And Billy Bob. Always Billy Bob. Hey you like motorcycle men. Taylor Lautner has one! In the movie at least. Haha

Medusa: Hahaha very nice. Actually I kind of do...the bad boy vibe is quite attractive. Which is ironic because I refuse to ever ride a motorcycle. But yes, we can save Billy Bob if you like. And the Loser. Regrettably, I'm rather attached. :/ hahaha

Me: Yeah let's save them. However if there are only 5 men left alive the competition will be AWFUL.

Medusa: We save them... but put them somewhere else, like the moon. Then we go live on the moon with them, keeping ours and sharing the celebrities between us, while the newly female world eradicates poverty, global warming, the energy crisis, and the problem of the toilet seat being left up. hahaha

Me: Can I please put this conversation on the blog? Hahahahaha

And the rest is history! But really. I laughed so hard for most of this.

--Dido

...The Loser broke up with Girl Scout.

And I'm now somewhere between being really sad for Girl Scout, and doing a happy dance complete with Russian high kicks.

--Medusa

Why Elly Jackson is infinitely better than Katy Perry

First off, I am fairly confident that The Loser's allusions to this blog were purely coincidental. Thank Buddha almighty.

And now to the point. Elly Jackson, lead singer of La Roux, is better than Katy Perry, by a lot. To illustrate my point, I give you screenshots from the "California Gurls" music video (Katy Perry), and the "Bulletproof" music video (La Roux) with helpful notes written by myself.

So as we can see, Elly Jackson challenges conventions and stands on artistic merit. Katy Perry conforms to the feminine norm in order to appeal to animalistic men, and thus stands not on talent or artistic merit, but on sex appeal. To quote Elly Jackson:

What's your stance on the way that female musicians either choose to or are forced to use a sexuality that's essentially just designed to appeal to men?

"It's really patronising to women. I know that there's far more ways to be sexy than to dress in a miniskirt and a tank top. If you're a real woman you can turn someone on in a plastic bag just by looking at them. That's what a real woman is, when you've got the sex eyes. I think you attract a certain kind of man by dressing like that. Women wonder why they get beaten up, or having relationships with arsehole men. Because you attracted one, you twat. It's a funny culture, it's definitely a funny culture. Those women are just insecure, but they'll turn round to me and say 'you're just jealous 'cos you want a tan and you want big boobs, stupid boy-looking girl'. You can't win, they wouldn't believe me for a second."

In conclusion:

>

--Medusa

Medusa is Freaking Out

Yesterday, as I already said, The Loser guessed that I was dyeing my hair Katy Perry color.

Today, he sent me a random text that said "Jellyfish."

Perhaps I am overreacting, but I am FREAKING OUT. Either he's good at ridiculously creepy coincidences, he can read my mind, or somehow he found this blog.

If, and I sincerely hope it isn't, option 3 is correct, here is a message to him.

Hey Loser. I sincerely hope you never actually read this. Because if you do, you're officially a total creeper. How in the name of Buddha did you find out about this blog, anyway? But I suppose that if you're reading this, you did. Which is a problem. I didn't want you to EVER know I like you that way. In fact, I still don't. But if you're reading this, you know now. Jerk. Anyway, if you receive this message, PLEASE don't let me keep freaking out about this and sending random things that are relevant to it to scare me. If you read this, please, IMMEDIATELY, text me something random involving turtles. Because turtles are awesome, unlike you. Loser. :(

-Medusa

...If it's actually Option 1 and he's good at ridiculous coincidences and he sends a random text about turtles without knowing anything, I swear I am going to spontaneously combust.

So actually, Loser, if you wouldn't mind sending a text AND commenting on this post, that'd be great. KKTHXBAI.

Yesterday, the Beach Failed Me

I have arrived safely at the beach - actually I arrived yesterday afternoon with my family. We decided to unpack the car and have dinner before heading out to the ocean, which turned out to be a very bad idea.

Yes, we saw the gigantic storm cloud that covered 3/4 of the sky and was pretty much jet black. Yes, we were aware that going to the beach during a storm is a bad idea. And yes, we were stubborn. So, yes, we were idiots and drove to the beach.

The thing about this island where we're staying is that everyone has golf carts even though no one plays golf. It's just the way you get around without getting sand and salt all over your fancy expensive car that goes with your fancy expensive beach house (in our case this is a minivan and a rented house). Anyway golf carts are great fun. I tried to keep this in mind an hour after we left the safety of the tranquil house.

It took us about 10 minutes to find the beach when it should have taken about 3 because my dad thought the beach was in the other direction... That was a failure. As soon as we did find the beach, we unpacked all our beach stuff with great excitement (you all know how it is, the first day of vacation) and walked through the sand dunes towards the waves with the now HUMONGOUS storm cloud practically overhead.

We even made it to the water before the sky turned yellow and we finally saw lightning - about 100 yards down the beach from where we were standing!!! It was terrifying, and the thunder that followed was unbelievable. I thought my ears were goners for sure. Needless to say we ran to the golf cart, loaded everything back up, and drove off.

Quick side note: By this time it was pouring rain. A shower can't provide as much water as that cloud did. And I was stuck in the part of the golf car that has no roof - there is only a roof for the front two seats, and my sister was on my mom's lap, scared, while I was in the back, cowering under a towel and praying to anyone who was listening that I wouldn't get electrocuted. ("I'm too young to die! Billy Bob hasn't had a chance to kiss me yet!!! OH NO. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!") So anyway I was all alone in my rainy, stormy misery, literally.

Then, as if this ordeal wasn't bad enough already, our golf cart broke down halfway home. There was a shortage or something in the battery when it got wet...? Or something, my dad explained it but I didn't understand it really. The point is, we were no longer on our way to safety. We were stuck on the side of the road. My sister is the only one who enjoyed this next part. She got to sit at the steering wheel while I had to get off the cart with my parents and push the bloody thing for the last mile and a half! It was miserable. It was raining so hard I couldn't see anything in front of my face even though we were walking, and all of a sudden the road was flooded with huge puddles. I was afraid I would drown, either in a puddle or by breathing.

We did make it home, finally. I took a very long, extravagant hot shower and everything was sort of better, but it kept storming for the remainder of the night. Whenever I heard thunder I jumped. It was terrible; usually I like storms and have no problem with them whatsoever. Yesterday, however, it seems the universe was out to get me... What else is new?

--Dido