SLUTS

Sorry, I've neglected this blog for a long time. :(

I had an interesting day at the beach a couple of days ago. I went on a walk in the morning to watch the sunrise, which turned out to be hidden behind thick clouds (FAIL) but instead I found a message in a bottle! Yes, dear readers, and I'm not joking. I was so happy and excited, although I'm sure that on the way home other walkers/joggers must have thought something along the lines of "GIRLLLLLL it's a bit early to be drinking wine, isn't it???" as they saw me walking along, grinning stupidly while holding the corked bottle.

The message wasn't very interesting, just from two girls who want an answer to their message, so I'll let them know I found their bottle.

Later that day I discovered a beached jellyfish, still alive, and in the true spirit of this blog, I dug it a channel to the water so it could be saved. I felt very heroic. Apparently I was not to be rewarded though, in the evening I was stung by a jellyfish quite badly.
Here are the remedies for jellyfish stings, embellished with my own experiences:
1. Rub the area with sand, wash with salt water.
2. Go home, complaining all the way.
3. Get shaving cream, spread on area, scrape off with credit card (This part hurts like the end of the world...)
4. Get vinegar, pour on area.
5. Discover that that was a waste of vinegar, get paper towels, soak with vinegar, apply to area.
6. Wince with pain as vinegar disinfects and removes stingy stuff.
7. Leave vinegar wraps on for 30 minutes, then remove and replace with fresh wraps.
8. Repeat until entire person smells like pickles, aka, is so sick of the smell that the pain is bearable, this could also be due to the vinegar wafts - perhaps they have an effect on the brain???
9. Go to bed, smelling pickled
10. Get up 2 hours later, shower
11. Go back to bed, smelling like pickles and shower gel.
12. Curse jellyfish.
13. Wake up.
14. Go back to the ocean, have a nice day, feel better :)

So that was that. Later we went to this tourist store, and I found little fridge magnets that read, for example:

"When I'm with you life sings"
"Forget Love, I'd rather fall in Chocolate!"
"People are supposed to make mistakes. That's why we have erasers."
"An optimist is someone who expects all the crayons to be in the box."
"My photographic memory never developed."
"Wait a minute... I need to put on my 'Gosh-I-Really-Care' Face."
"I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message."
"D.I.E.T. = Did I Eat That?"
"S.L.U.T.S. = Southern Ladies Up To Something"

I thought they were amusing :)

--Dido