My Beloved

So today's the day to talk about Billy Bob Joe XII. (His real name is really short.)
As Medusa already mentioned, yes, he is bald, but not because he is old. He chooses to be bald. There IS a difference... and he is also my former Latin teacher. I don't know what you all know about scanning a line of poetry, but when he scans, save me because I think it adds to his attractiveness. I'm such a geek. Oh well. Anyway, he just turned 26, and I'm about to turn 19, which means he is, uh... (26-19=7) seven years older than I am. Not that much, huh?

Sadly because he is 26, he is not interested in a 19-year-old. Also, he has a girlfriend who is probably closer to his age and who has made it possible for him to spend 3 weeks in Rome and then another week in Scotland. I hate that girl. Her name is Cat Vomit. I didn't come up with that; Medusa did... but it fits well.

I think I'm in love with Billy Bob Joe XII. I can't stop thinking about him, I have conversations with him in my head, I talk to him on IM all the time when he happens to be in the country, I shared my strawberries with him!!! That means a lot because I NEVER share strawberries with ANYONE unless they are SUPER AWESOME LOVEABLE LATIN TEACHERS I HAPPEN TO BE IN LOVE WITH. Yeah!!! Okay and I also have his dishes.

This is how I got his dishes: We were on IM and he mentioned he was selling his things in his apartment because he's moving in with Cat Vomit because he's joining the Marines which means he can't teach next school year because he's leaving in March and because he won't have a job he can't afford his rent. (Secretly I hate the Marines. But only because Billy Bob is leaving because of them.) So, I asked if there was anything a college student might need, and he said he was selling his dishes and his glasses and mugs and silverware for $30. I thought it was a great deal (PLUS if I bought the dishes I could see him, hehe), so I told him I'd buy them. So, whatever happens, AT LEAST I HAVE HIS DISHES. It's an inside joke. :) Laugh!

One of his mugs is bright orange and says "Harley Davidson" in fiery black letters and the mug is slanted. He has a motorcycle. Normally I don't think guys with motorcycles are attractive BUT Billy Bob is a different story. SO ATTRACTIVE. Like, beyond belief, and also he smells fantastic.

Finally I get to the point of this post: Today I received a punch to the stomach from his blog. He's keeping a blog of his trip to Europe in which both he and Cat Vomit write. Well anyway today it was about how Cat Vomit took him out to dinner for his birthday (2 weeks late) and at the end he wrote: "I have the best girlfriend in the world!"

Needless to say I felt like running to the bathroom and throwing up but instead I texted Medusa about my misery. I wanted to cry. I feel like they will get married. And I don't have a chance with him anyway but I'd rather Cat Vomit disappeared and I could be his awesome girlfriend. It is very frustrating. Well, nothing I can do about it for now, if there is anything I could do, because he is in Rome, with HER, and won't be back until July 28th, and I won't be back from the beach until August 11th, which leaves practically NO time to see him. Plus, what would I tell my parents? "Hey mom, I'm gonna go hang out with my Latin teacher from high school!" ... "WHAAAAT???!!!"

Exactly. So, I'm doomed. I'll be a crazy cat lady when I am old because of all this trauma.

--Dido